Watch Your Language!
My wife and I had the opportunity to go on a brunch date earlier this week. Our server, Sunny, was very nice. Nice service goes a long way in our books! You should’ve seen her when I told her we were about to pray for our meal and we wondered if there were any ways we could pray for her that day. She was jarred and excited simultaneously as she shared a prayer request. She was much more eager to chat when she came to the table after that. I could tell that Sunny wasn’t from the U.S., so I asked where she was from. She told us she’s from Eritrea. Since I’ve spent time in Ethiopia that led to a wonderful conversation about a place we both love and enjoy – Gondar, Ethiopia. It was one of the most pleasant interactions I’ve had with a stranger lately. Her body language and attitude seemed to reflect the same.
On a slightly different note, last week I took the family to Chick-fil-A for a family lunch and I wish you could’ve seen how one mother responded when I went into the play area to watch my kids. Her body language made it quite evident that she was very uncomfortable with me in the play area with her kids. (To her advantage, I am an adult male with a large frame, a shaved head, and visible tattoos!) Nevertheless, her body language – namely her posture, facial expressions and lack of eye contact – spoke a great deal to me without even using words. You should’ve seen her body language when the large tattooed man told his daughter to “Be nice to others because God tells us to love your neighbors as yourself.”
Body language is a very powerful form of nonverbal communication. In fact, I submit that body language (facial expressions, eye contact and posture, etc.) can make or break an opportunity to connect with someone if either party feels discriminated against. I also submit that the church is often worse than others when it comes to controlling our body language when someone looks different than us. That can put a real damper on our opportunity for ministry. And quite frankly, I thank God that He didn’t look at humanity, clam up, and indicate that we didn’t look ‘good enough’ to want a relationship with us.
Will anyone join me in watching your body language and finding a way to minister to people in life who don’t look like ‘me’ this week?
Great thought! We would also do well to consider how our body language communicates with our spouse and kids. Perhaps conflict would be less frequent and/or more easily resolved if we would keep some of things you mentioned in mind. And thanks for the practical suggestion on how to love your server at a restaurant.
Non-verbal communication is about 80% of communication…very astute observations Gabe!
Wow Gabe, what an incredible example using words in verbal and non verbal ways that either bring ‘life” or death to others. I have a good friend who has tattoos and we experienced the same thing last week at a volleyball game, he said he felt like everyone there thought he was going to take their “daughters” and run. A man even came by and stood between him and the door. He said he gets that often, he was there watching his girlfriends daughter who he helps take care of while she is going through chemo. I was so put back by this, and thought how wrong it is to judge others by what “we see”, and yet I know I am not immune to this. My hope and prayer is that I pray each day to let me have His eyes to love and see others as He does, because my human eyes are just that-human, and when I look with those I am quicker to see the outward appearance and not the heart. Thank you so much Gabe for always speaking into cultural relevance and what it looks like to fully follow Christ, live as He did, and love as He does. Going to watch my body language and asked to be challenged to go outside my comfort zone and love others different from me. Thanks!
Thanks to each of you for the feedback. The task at hand isn’t easy, that’s why I feel it needs to be an intentional discipline. Hopefully, through much practice we’ll be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
Nate – The spouse and kids part is convicting. Good word!
Ryan – Thanks for the support statistics!
Tracy – That’s quite a powerful example in the story you shared. And although tattoos are a prime example in our culture, it gets even deeper when we’re regarding race and socioeconomic differences. We – the church – need to be different.
I’m praying for you in your opportunities this week.